Family

A few weeks ago, it was my privilege to attend a reunion of the members of my mother's side of the family. My father's side was not represented as they were few, and have since passed, but my mother was one of six, one of which had 6, one of which had 4, one of which had twins, so there are tons of those folks around.

I thought of inserting a diagram here, but then realized that the paper is not near wide enough and it would become unwieldy.

My mother's (and my father's) family came from Pittsburgh and were for the most part tradespeople. I had bunches of cousins in the Pittsburgh area, and spent many a happy Summer in their company.  The times were different enough that I can recall walking down a hill in the city, catching a streetcar, changing to another streetcar to go somewhere, and on arrival walking a few blocks to a cousin's house - when I was 8 years old!  As I said, times were different, and nobody thought too much about a kid's riding streetcars to places in and out of the city for a day or so.  We had no cell phones or GPS's, and I did get lost a time or two, but there was always a friendly streetcar driver to un-lose me.  Times have changed, indeed.

We have had these reunions yearly, out in North Park outside the city of Pittsburgh, for at least 30 years, and I have been to most of them, traveling to see folks I saw perhaps yearly, but remembered as yesterday.   My memories of Pittsburgh were good enough that, when it came time for me to get engaged, I took my future wife to the home of some of my family and bought her rings from a high school classmate of my mother - friendship means something, and I had been a guest in his home growing up, too.  In fact, I once had a thing for one of his daughters - but that's another tale for another time & place....

In any event, over the years, most have left Pittsburgh - but many still gather there yearly - and my children have joined the crowd as time has gone along, looking forward to seeing these relatives and catching up on what the year has brought to us.

This year was a Big Deal in some respects - two cousins had been married for more than 50 years, and the last surviving sister of my mother has been married 60 years, so over 80 people came from California, Texas, Georgia, and many other states to join in a celebration.  One of my cousins' kids had married and moved to Australia - but he was there to help to celebrate his parent's 50 years of marriage (and he surprised them, too!)  Some other cousins and their kids have not been to a reunion for years, and it was wonderful to see them again.

Our family is important - a lot of who and what we are was formed in the homes of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.  We seem to be unusual in that 80 of us can come together in one place and enjoy ourselves - we all talk to one another - some of us have differences but we all talk.  Many large families are distinguished by the fact that they don't get along - we seem to be different, but part of it could be that we are all spread so far apart.

I feel privileged to be able to join such a diverse group and feel immediately as if I belong, they they know me, and they like me anyhow. In this day and age, with things so polarizing as they tend to get, just to relax and be myself amongst all these people is a rare gift.

That it carries on with generations is also a rare gift - my kids and their kids like to go - they don't know everyone, but they know some, and as the family grows there is almost always someone there of a similar age to talk with, pal around with, play with, have lunch with, and just enjoy.

For the most part, spouses from outside the family also appear to enjoy the experience - I know they must, since they keep coming back, and they add to the joy and the diversity of experiences and opinions in the mix.

I wish that everyone could have the experience that we share at these reunions - we might be a whole lot nicer and more patient with each other.

I look forward already to next year, to see who will come, what experiences and tales will be shared and just how everyone will appear. I know that the odds are that some of us won't be back - age and infirmity conspire to keep us rather more local than we once were, but it is my intent, as long as I am able to attend this event each year - because it's good for me, for my family, and for the folk around us.