Second chances, redux

Well, last night a bunch of us got together for dinner, to meet again with my daughter's new husband, whom we have not seen for many years, and to watch his son be surprised because his dad joined us at dinner and he was not expected home much before Christmas.

Both daughters were there with their kids.  This can be pretty exciting because the youngest's two (almost four and more than 5) are bright, vocal, active kids, and tend to end up being the stellar attraction, however, last night they seemed to sense that not only was this a Big Deal, but it was a Big Deal for their older cousin and made sure to greet the new Uncle as family and not as some interloper who just showed up out of nowhere.

My wife and I had concerns about the evening - we have not seen the new son-in-law for more than just a couple of years and, understanding some things that had been said and some that had been thought over the years, the potential was there for a heated emotional disaster - but it did not even stick its head in the room - we met a gentleman, an intrinsically good man who had spent much of his life in places that weren't really that good either for him or anyone else.  He has used his time away well, taking coursework and other opportunities to better his understanding of why some things are as they are and how to handle those things and turn them to his advantage. It was a great evening for all of us, and we look forward to more of them.

My daughter is of course over the moon, and her son likewise - they can look at him, talk to him, and not worry what machinations of fate are going to get him moved, segregated or otherwise barred from being around those who love him. It's a win for all of us.

I know he had his concerns - he knows all too well that there have been times he was not one of my favorite people - but he's not the man I didn't like, not any more - he has turned into a guy that I can respect, someone who has shown that he can handle adversity and learn from it,  that past behaviors do not rule forever, and that he is capable of growing, learning, and becoming a greater person.

I am feeling pretty positive now - I think this is a positive thing for all of us, not just for the daughter and her son - and that there will finally be healing for all of us.

It is a shame that his mother did not live to see this day.

But the rest of us did live to see it - and it looks better than any of us had a right to anticipate.  I'm suddenly sleeping really well.

On another topic - my surgeon tells me I can't have coffee.  Growlgrumbleandbitch! I asked him why, and he told me that  the ulcer that did not perforate was the worst one he has ever seen, and he's seen a few.  Until I get scoped again, no coffee, and maybe not then.  I wish I wan't asymptomatic regarding the ulcers themselves - seems to me anything that ugly ought to cause me pain, and they don't, not just being there - and at my age, I don't guess it will change a whole lot, so I have to pay attention and do what he wants, just so I don't get to see him again late one night....

Orthopod visit Monday morning, new glasses Tuesday - everything is moving along.  My knees are lousy, but they've been lousy for a while and as long as I ignore them it is bearable.  Getting up off the floor, however, is a real exercise in funny-looking.  I am stillnot as strong as I want to be, but the Guzzi is at least keeping me grinning riding it.

Well, I gotta call my wife and see what she wants to do about dinner,then go into the garage, start the  Guzzi and head for home, grinning all the way...

Y'all be well, y'hear?

Second Chances

One of my grandkids has a father whom he sees very seldom.

That will all change today - his father is getting out and returning to his loved ones.

Many of you know me to be a hardass about convicted felons, crime, and such things in general.

Well, from working around cops, I know Correctional Facilities take what appear to be Bad People off the street.  Some do their time, reoffend and make their way back.  For some, they've spent so much time incarcerated that it's the only life they feel to be safe - the rules are known, inflexible, and iron hard.  Outside, among real people, the rules are sometimes harder to discern.

Once in a while, however, someone comes out having learned something - possibly the consequences of particular behaviors, possibly what happened that creates the inappropriate behavior, sometimes just with the resolve never to return.

For a change, I am not cynical about this - I truly believe that this person is the exception.  I might be naive, but I have to give him the shot, and support his efforts.  We are about the only family he has, and I honestly think there's not a malign bone in him - although life has crapped in his cheerios times without number.

Now, I really tried to hate this guy - some pretty difficult times with one of my kids were times over which he had influence - but I couldn't hate him - many times I saw a good person there, sorely misguided, a victim of his own shortightedness, poor choices, and poor familial examples.

I know the rate of recidivism is large - but this will be the time the prediction is proven false.

I guess underneath, I'm a big softheaded dope - but that's what I believe, and I am convinced that this guy won't let me down, that he'll be a good father to his child, and a fit husband for my daughter.

And for right now, that's all I have to say on the matter - except you might pray for all of us, that we make the best we can out of what we've been handed.

Thanks.

Never boring around here

It's almost midnight - and the phone just rang.

Our daughter is in labor - only several days late, but a couple of days before they would take her in and induce her. I'm too old for the excitement I think.  Another new life is coming.

I remember when this daughter was born - I was there.  I am at heart a simpleton, theologically speaking - but the day she was born, I was present for a miracle - the birth of a live child, and as far as miracles go, it is the only one I ever needed.

But I had a few other miracles that day, too - I gained an understanding of the reason recovery from a surgical (C-section) delivery seemed so tough.  I watched the doctor cut her open from hip to him, then stick his arms inside up to (it seemed) his elbows to pull out the daughter that had decided she wasn't coming out any other way.  I got to watch the very first hours of this daughter's life, and literally see her grow, change and gain strength.

Now, there's a granddaughter coming. By the time I get up in the morning, she might be here.

Of course, we are getting snow now, supposed to be continued through tomorrow evening, just to keep life interesting.  Happily, my son-in-law has a Subaru, which is good for a trip to the hospital - and since this child is number two, you might think he'd be used to it - but I'm sure he's going nuts anyhow, and will be asleep on his feet by the time we get there tomorrow. 

Merry Christmas to all.  I guess I ought to get some sleep....

But it's something good, a thing to be celebrated - a new life!