Family

A few weeks ago, it was my privilege to attend a reunion of the members of my mother's side of the family. My father's side was not represented as they were few, and have since passed, but my mother was one of six, one of which had 6, one of which had 4, one of which had twins, so there are tons of those folks around.

I thought of inserting a diagram here, but then realized that the paper is not near wide enough and it would become unwieldy.

My mother's (and my father's) family came from Pittsburgh and were for the most part tradespeople. I had bunches of cousins in the Pittsburgh area, and spent many a happy Summer in their company.  The times were different enough that I can recall walking down a hill in the city, catching a streetcar, changing to another streetcar to go somewhere, and on arrival walking a few blocks to a cousin's house - when I was 8 years old!  As I said, times were different, and nobody thought too much about a kid's riding streetcars to places in and out of the city for a day or so.  We had no cell phones or GPS's, and I did get lost a time or two, but there was always a friendly streetcar driver to un-lose me.  Times have changed, indeed.

We have had these reunions yearly, out in North Park outside the city of Pittsburgh, for at least 30 years, and I have been to most of them, traveling to see folks I saw perhaps yearly, but remembered as yesterday.   My memories of Pittsburgh were good enough that, when it came time for me to get engaged, I took my future wife to the home of some of my family and bought her rings from a high school classmate of my mother - friendship means something, and I had been a guest in his home growing up, too.  In fact, I once had a thing for one of his daughters - but that's another tale for another time & place....

In any event, over the years, most have left Pittsburgh - but many still gather there yearly - and my children have joined the crowd as time has gone along, looking forward to seeing these relatives and catching up on what the year has brought to us.

This year was a Big Deal in some respects - two cousins had been married for more than 50 years, and the last surviving sister of my mother has been married 60 years, so over 80 people came from California, Texas, Georgia, and many other states to join in a celebration.  One of my cousins' kids had married and moved to Australia - but he was there to help to celebrate his parent's 50 years of marriage (and he surprised them, too!)  Some other cousins and their kids have not been to a reunion for years, and it was wonderful to see them again.

Our family is important - a lot of who and what we are was formed in the homes of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.  We seem to be unusual in that 80 of us can come together in one place and enjoy ourselves - we all talk to one another - some of us have differences but we all talk.  Many large families are distinguished by the fact that they don't get along - we seem to be different, but part of it could be that we are all spread so far apart.

I feel privileged to be able to join such a diverse group and feel immediately as if I belong, they they know me, and they like me anyhow. In this day and age, with things so polarizing as they tend to get, just to relax and be myself amongst all these people is a rare gift.

That it carries on with generations is also a rare gift - my kids and their kids like to go - they don't know everyone, but they know some, and as the family grows there is almost always someone there of a similar age to talk with, pal around with, play with, have lunch with, and just enjoy.

For the most part, spouses from outside the family also appear to enjoy the experience - I know they must, since they keep coming back, and they add to the joy and the diversity of experiences and opinions in the mix.

I wish that everyone could have the experience that we share at these reunions - we might be a whole lot nicer and more patient with each other.

I look forward already to next year, to see who will come, what experiences and tales will be shared and just how everyone will appear. I know that the odds are that some of us won't be back - age and infirmity conspire to keep us rather more local than we once were, but it is my intent, as long as I am able to attend this event each year - because it's good for me, for my family, and for the folk around us.

It's been a while

Sorry, I've been out of sorts for a bit. I ran out of Prozac, and decided that I'm just too damn mean when depressed to write anything useful. When I was no longer out, it got busy, and then my lovely wife and I took a road trip last week down to South Carolina (Charleston to be exact) to attend a reunion of members of my old military unit. Since the unit existed for around 30 years, there was no certainty that anyone would be there with whom I had served, but we went anyhow, just to see, and to meet folks with whom I had been in touch on various duty-specific forums for the past several years.

Much to my surprise, my wife asked if we would be driving or flying and indicated a desire to travel by car. Since she normally doesn't travel well, I was more than ready to drive even though I already had plane tickets (discovering afterwards just how damn hard it is to get rid of them and get back money.) She got to thinking about travel hassles, and the fact that I hate to fly any more, and decided to try a road trip - and it was a really good trip for both of us.

We broke the trip around Emporia, Virginia, staying in a Hampton Inn at a ridiculously cheap price for first-class lodging. When we woke up and had breakfast, it was a relatively easy day to get us into Charleston - it took time, but traffic was light, the scenery good and the weather pleasant. We let Gertie Garmin guide us, and let the cruise control keep the cops away, and just relaxed, stopping when it pleased one or the other of us.

Gertie Garmin is what we called the GPS that I purchased for her some time back. This was the first trip with that sort of device, and I have to say it was a great addition to the stuff we already were taking with us. The 760 model allowed all our cell phones to be bluetoothed to its hands-free facility, the alternate routes worked and were decent - all in all I cannot imaging going farther than ten minutes without at least having it turned on with traffic alerts enabled.

I did meet one guy I knew at the reunion, and met others with whom I had chatted, but whom I had never met - and lots of war stories got told. It was great! I was particularly pleased to see the one guy I already knew, as I had heard that he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer several years back, and since I know the cure rate on that to be abysmal fully expected to hear that he was not with us any more - and was both surprised and pleased to hear from him that he'd be there. I was doubly surprised to see him when I got there using an artificial larynx - after beating the esophageal cancer he ended up with it in his throat, and lost his thyroid and larynx to it - but a more ready-to-go guy I have not known. He's 71, has had all this, and is more lively than ever! I had never met his wife before, but knew she had to be something else, and was not disappointed - although I was surprised to note that her German accent had been replaced with a Buffalo, New York accent!

My wife was surprised at how well she seemed to fit - there were some folks younger than us, but not many, and lots older, although they were uniformly old in years but not in spirit.

I was in what the Air Force called Security Service - it was an intelligence operation that had had its personnel described as a tightly knit group of loosely wrapped people - which, on reflection, I found to be fitting and proper.

We played tourist, took a mule-drawn carriage trip around old Charleston, which I expected to be a deadly bore and my wife expected would get her motion-sensitive gut - and we loved it - the guide was great, the city beautiful, the info plentiful, the pace slow and relaxed - just a great way to spend part of an afternoon. I have to admit that without Gertie Garmin I'd've never found the mule stables. We also did an excursion boat harbor tour, and while she went, she wasn't as relaxed because of the motion of a boat upon the water, and afterwards reaffirmed her wish never to go on a cruise - even to the point or telling me I could try to get an old flame to join me and leave her at home. I of course declined....

We took two days to come back, the second day stopping by my brother's place in Lorton, Virginia, and then stopping off to visit our baby and her baby and husband, finally getting home pretty late and really tired - but it was probably the best week for us in years.

Those who have served ought to do a reunion once in a while - particularly in these times when the military is held in such low esteem - it can reaffirm that the time was not wasted, that the duty did matter, and that the folks with whom one served were indeed crazy, but dedicated, caring, and good friends all around.

We'll be going to others as they are scheduled.

That's all I have for today - y'all be well....