Commuting Traffic

Like many others, I commute to work. I have dreamed of the day that my commute would consist of walking down the stairs to my basement and going into a corner especially built for me, where computers, phone, darkness and music are in abundance - but it hasn't happened yet, and at the current rate it might happen just in time for my 104th birthday - so I'm not holding my breath.

Baltimore is reputed to be a tough commute, and it can get pretty ugly in the morning. I call ugly a morning when my 22-miles-of-freeway plus four traffic lights turns into an hour on my motorcycle or in my car. This morning was one of those mornings.

I've been driving for almost 50 years now, and have driven in Germany when there were no speed limits and survived, so I must've done something right. I have come to a few conclusions about just why traffic gets so sucky sometimes.

1. People check their manners when they leave their homes - the trip turns into international screw-your-buddy week, and some seem to take great joy in making certain that nobody can change lanes or pass them - and if there's someone on a ramp, they can wait until their vehicle turns into iron oxide.
2. Cell phones make everyone oblivious to the impolite folks that don't have cell phones, which in turns makes them even less polite and helpful.
3. NOBODY knows how to use mirrors any more.
   
4. NOBODY gives a ratzass about physics, reaction time, or the realities of modern brakes and tires, as good as they are, they still won't help when you run out of time.

This morning, for instance, I watched someone do the following -

1. Cut me off whilst talking on a phone, not looking in a mirror; just moved over to where I was. Luckily I was paying attention - my polite horn beep was greeted by a upraised middle finger, which meant there were no hands on the wheel as the other hand was occupied holding a cell phone.
2. Run down an on-ramp to the end, right past two others who purposely left a space large enough to fit three cars in safety - this arzl had to be FIRST and wasn't accepting largess on anyone's part. When he got to the end of his ramp, he bullied his way into the lane that was there and promptly bullied his way across another lane - because he was in an exit-only lane and he apparently didn't want to exit.
3. Pull in front of a car carrier only to discover that everything was stopped in that lane - he was talking on his phone and it had missed his notice that he was moving bu8t where he was headed nothing was moving. Happily the car carrier wasn't going fast - but he flatspotted a bunch of tires getting stopped - and the jerk in the car flipped him off for the noise of tires sliding.

Now, when I am in the right lane and coming up to an on-ramp I always leave space for at least one car to pull in in front of me - and I think if everyone did that it wouldn't cost much time and traffic would flow smoother. What I get for my thoughtfullness is horns and glares from the folks behind me - and the occcasional hand signal. If I happen to be on my motorcycle, sometimes they will try to pass me in my lane , or crawl up so close to my taillight that if I just get off the grass they'll be munchung my fender. I really do not like that sort of behavior. I know motorcycles typically stop much better than cars, and don't have a wish to become a hood ornament.

Particuklarly obnoxious folks drive jacked up pickups and expensive SUV's - they get right up close and personal, never even thinking of the danger in which they place me by being so close. I guess someone who has fewer than four wheels is classed as vermin by such drivers. I can always pour on the throttle and make some space since motorcycles do that better than most cars - but in traffix there's often no place to go. Sometimes I can pour on the power and the loud pipes will make them slow down, but not often - most folks are so insulated in their cage vehicles that they couldn't hear a freight train if it fell on them.

Courtesy is cheap, and simply by being courteous, ugly situations do not have the opportunity to form - and letting just one person in can change the whole day for that person. I wish that were better understood. Working for a police department, I see lots of accidents and reports thereof, and you'd be really surprised just how many accidents could have been caused not to happen with a little courtesy on someone's part - along with, of course, some awareness of what one is doing and where one is doing whatever it is.

I am occasionally tempted to carry a bag of large marbles to loft into the air when a following vehicle gets so close to my moorcycle that I feel endangered. Up to this point I haven't done this, but it gets more tempting every day. Even in the car I get tempted by this thought - particularly when the only thing I can see in any of my mirrors is a jacked up Dodge Ram pickup that looks like it is eating my trunk.

I wonder if I carried a bag of paintballs.... No, they probably need more force to burst than I could supply simply by throwwing one up into the air. Maybe a weed sprayer full of yellow paint? No, I don't think so - too hard on the environment.

I had a stock exhaust on my motorcycle for a while - I paid a bunch of money to buy it after buying the bike with Vance & Hines pipes on it. When I put the stock pipes on, it got quiet - and people stopped seeing me. I put the loud pipes back on and get menaced a whole lot less every day. I also have a nice lout air horn - when I blow it, folks pay attention, and by the time they fitgure out it is a biker and not a trucker, I am gone from that area.

I ride because I like to ride. My motorcycles use less gas than my cars (by half or more) and I know some guys that tell their wives that they want a motorcycle to save money, but I'm here to tell you that's crap. Riders have motorcycles because they want motorcycles - saving gas is a nice byproduct, but not the real reason to have one. If you don't ride, or if your only riding experience is as a fearful passenger being scared by some yahoo more interested in your fright than his safety, you are missing something - it is peaceful out there in no hurry wandering the counryside. Many of my favorite rides would average 40 mph or less - and I seem to see so much more than when in a car. I hear things I might not otherwise hear, smell new smells all the time, and see colors much brighter than when ensconced in my air-conditioned MP3-playing automobile. The only real plus for a car is that I can carry a log of stuff I probably do not need, and I've never stalled a car and had it fall over and needed to pick it up - which has happened with my motorcycles.

I think there'll be a motorcycle rant not too far in the future - as soon as mine gets out of the shop after being vandalized by s stupid homicide cop in the police garage.

Happy Friday, everyone!